At these Fahrenheit temperatures:
+65 - Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night.
+60 - Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one).
+50 - Miami residents turn on the heat.
+45 - Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts.
+40 - You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Minnesotans go swimming
+35 - Italian cars don't start.
+32 - Water freezes.
+30 - You plan your vacation to Australia.
+25 - Ohio water freezes. Californians weep. Minnesotans eat ice cream.
Canadians go swimming
+20 - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes.
Miami residents plan vacation farther South.
+15 - French cars don't start. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
+10 - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
+5 - American cars don't start.
0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10 - German cars don't start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick
tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist
-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you. Politicians actually do
something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof.
Japanese cars don't start.
-25 - Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 - You plan a two week hot bath. Swedish cars don't start.
-40 - Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters.
Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 - Congressional hot air freezes. Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 - Hell freezes over. Polar bears move South. Green Bay Packer fans order
hot cocoa at the game.
-90 - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
|
